Why we love the darkness…
There is an old Russian folk story about a mother and daughter who earned their living by sewing. They sat by a window and rested their eyes by lifting them from their work now and then to survey the beautiful scene outside their window. Then, one day, someone came and built a house right next to their window which rose like a massive wall and shut out the light and sun and air. So for many years they worked, in sorrow. Then one day the wall was finally demolished, and when it was gone. . . the two women grieved for it.
“The light came into the world, but they loved darkness rather than the light. . .
Why is it that we love the darkness?
When I was a little boy the darkness was always threatening, always scary. One never knew what was out in the darkness, what was lying in wait for us. The darkness was dangerous. When I lived out in the country it was a common occurrence for the electric to go out and I often had to grope in the dark. It is much easier to fall and hurt oneself, tripping over this or that. It is getting up in the middle of the night with no illumination and tripping over obstacles which would have easily been avoided in the sunlit day. The darkness is limiting. “Called on account of darkness.” Many things that I love to do, I am unable to do when it is dark. Oh, we have lighting and electricity, but the darkness tends to restrain us and cramp our style. It often keeps us from truly living.
So again, why is it that we love the darkness?
First of all, like my folk tale suggests, we get used to it. They say that victims of abuse often times feel lost when their abuser is not around. Twisted, but it happens. People with mental illness, often avoid getting better because they do not feel like themselves. Sickness seems more comfortable than wellness.
How do we break the cycle of darkness? How do we snap out of destructive and murky behavior? It’s not easy. But first we need to be absolutely convinced that the light is better than the darkness. We need to know that the way of darkness is a dim and ultimately deadly path. If we are to be people of light, we need to recognize that this is the only way to go. An addict need to face up to the fact that their addiction will eventually kill them or someone that they love.
They need to return to sanity.
Second, we love the darkness because we do not like facing the truth. People like the darkness because they can hide their faults, failures, vulnerabilities and sin more easily in the murky dimness rather than the harsh glare of the truth. It is safer to remain in the dark.
Lent is a continual process of coming to terms with the truth of our lives. And yet, the only way we will ever know freedom, the only way we will ever grow, the only way we will find happiness is if we are committed to light and to truth. There is no other way. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is a tremendous way of facing up to the truth of our lives. It is threatening, to be sure, but it allows us a freedom that can open us up to the fullness of life. Without letting everyone in on our business, we can face up to the truth in the difficult reality, yet loving acceptance of our God.
This Wednesday evening we will have a joint Penance Service with Mary, Queen of Peace Parish beginning at 7 pm here at Holy Redeemer.
If it has been awhile, don’t be afraid. Let the Lord break down the wall of sin and shame that hinders your view and keeps you in the dark.
And, for goodness sake, do not grieve its destruction.
Father Kevin